I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
