He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
