that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
