Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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