I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize