Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Randomize
Follow @tfln