In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?