So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
