i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
