I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.