I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.