we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
