3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
