yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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