you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
