would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday