All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.