We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!