We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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