yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
