Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
