why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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