I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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