if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
