Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
