im drinking this country out of the recession.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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