Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
