So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
