The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
