I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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