you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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