My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
