i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
