I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
