Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
