i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
