That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
