hotel room ftw
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My ATM looks so different sober.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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