Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
