Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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