Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
