His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
