A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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