Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's Friday. Sex?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
