margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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