I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
