Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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