i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
