cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
