idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there was a trapeze. enough said
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
