do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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