i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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