I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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