sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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