His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
