you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
