$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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