I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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