I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
