this beer tastes like vomit already
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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