I met the friendliest cop last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
