p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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