Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
