he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
