So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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