i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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