upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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