I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
