No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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