Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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