dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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