I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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