I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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