Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
